S is for Submission

Submission is the key to open the door into a life of pleasure for a man who seeks to explore this side of his life. If he is exploring the world of BDSM and starts to attend professional Dominant Mistresses he will discover that this gives him an opportunity to begin to see how good it can be to submit to another.

Even if it starts just in short sessions where he hands over control of himself to a Mistress it will grow as he discovers that it feels good to submit. So many men live lives where they are expected to be the one in control. They work and continuously have to make decisions. When they get home they may be the person who makes the decisions there as well. But inside they want to let go and be under the control of another.

Once a man starts down the road of slavery giving control to a Mistress She can help him to expand this into many areas of his life. He does not just have the opportunity to submit for an hour or two. He can be helped so it is 24/7 even if he is not under direct control but controlled from afar.

If a man seeks to be put under control then chastity is a good place to start. He voluntarily gives up control over his orgasms and the ability to masturbate and wears a chastity device which controls him. Mistress is the key holder and he has lost control of this essential part of his life. Even if he can only wear the chastity device part of the time he can be held to chastity the rest of the time and banned from masturbation. If he fails he must inform his Mistress and take the consequences.

Domestic and personal services for Mistress allow him the opportunity to serve. he submits himself as Her servant. Her needs come first. He must do what She wants and fulfil her needs and desires. This gives him so many things he can do for Her. Even if he does not like cleaning or any other task She sets him it does not matter. he is having the opportunity to submit and to serve and that is rewarding even on its own.

he will be given the chance to show his submission by wearing a collar which shows that he is Her slave. She may want him to wear ankle or wrist chains to remind him as well. She may want him to wear female pants or tights, a corset and spanx under his clothes which give him the opportunity to submit still further. Each step he takes down this road reinforces his submission and builds his submissive nature still further.

When he is with Mistress She will allow him to submit his body to Her control. She will place him in bondage and once bound he is helpless and his submission becomes more difficult to reverse. Even if he has a safe word he will not want to use it. he agrees that She has control over his penis and balls and can lock them away. She controls his arse and can beat it, cane it and push things into it. His nipples belong to Her and She can enjoy herself playing with them. She will decide when he is in bondage and of what type and how She wants to play with Her slave. She decides on how and when to chastise him and what implement She will use.

When he is with Mistress he submits himself to Her. She decides on whether he can talk or be kept silent. She decides to use a blindfold or to have him hooded. She decides if She wants to fuck him with the strap on.

As a slave a man has the opportunity to discover the freedom of submission so that all parts of him the whole body and more important the whole mind are both taken into the control of his Mistress.

None of this will happen overnight. He cannot go from no submission to total submission and keep to it in a short while. It may take years for the relationship of a slave and His Mistress to blossom and grow that he can submit wholeheartedly and feel the freedom that comes from submission.

Many men discover that they like to submit at an early age but it takes them years to begin to do it. If your Mistress is your partner then submission can take a whole extra dimension. Women are superior by nature and this is true. A man who wishes to understand this needs to realise that submission to the woman is natural and makes things better. It all depends on whether a partner wishes his submission or not. he can offer it in little things. he can start by listening to her and discovering what She wants and then accepting it and not having a row when he want to do something else. This is not BDSM but common senses and reduces tension and allows for more fun and pleasure in most relationships. It does not have to be explicit with him agreeing to be her slave but just acting as if Her needs are so important to him that he wants to follow them.

If he truly wishes to learn to submit then She may be prepared to begin to live is a more assertive way and he can help Her. They can have a female lead relationship where Her word is final even if it appears not to be the case. She can be given the chance to control sex as She wants it. he will need to learn her needs and desires and to provide for them. Many women seek intimacy and sharing more than just sex and more men want more sex than intimacy. So a man exploring his submissive side can take effort to find out what intimacy means to his partner and to listen, to share, and to do the things that improve it. Simple things like always taking out the trash or buying flowers regularly or keeping all his stuff tidy and not in the way will help. Offering to take over part of the house work or chopping to give her time.
Making it clear that he does not want to be off on “men’s nights out or weekends away with his mates shows She is in control. None of this has any outward appearance of “submission or slavery” but it will enhance Her life and makes things better. If She wants things can go further and She can take formal control of sex, get him to do the majority of the housework, control his free time and the family money and have the deciding word on plans for holidays new jobs, and the direction of travel in life for both of them. Here She is truly in control and he will be living a life of submission to Her will. Few women may want to go that far, but giving up control of the television remote control to a partner and not arranging time out without her agreement are easy to consider though not always easy to do.

i have found that the urge to submit grows in me every year. i started by exploring bondage with Professional Dominants for short sessions and this has changed over the years until now i live three lives at the same time. There is my life at work where i have control over some things and have to submit to superiors as well. i used to find this difficult and get angry if ordered to do something i thought was stupid or unlikely to succeed. Now i will still argue my case and push hard for what i think is right but if the decision goes against me then i am less bothered and less “personally” involved.
It makes me more relaxed and it is easier to get on at work and has helped my career as well. This surprised me as i feared that not always showing the total confidence at work would work against me but now i am seen as more of a team player and able to be flexible. So learning to submit when necessary at work has come from submission in the rest of my life.

At home i have a partner who is not into female leadership and was not interested when i broached the subject of wishing to submit to Her in the past on several occasions. But She likes the attention i give her. She likes the control of sex and the television remote control and She likes it that i spoil her and do my share around the home more. She likes to have “Her “bed prepared for her at night, the house tidy and Her breakfast place ready for when She gets up. She likes the freedom to decide where to go on holiday and the fact there are less rows as i always give in and submit to her plans for my diet, my haircut and my clothing and do not fight back as i used to. There may be no formal female lead relationship but She is certainly the leader now at home and this gives me great pleasure.

But i am also a slave and property of my Mistress. She controls me and i am allowed to attend Her and serve Her. She is training me in submission and i really did need a trainer. With Her there is no limit to Her power and my submission and it is this that spills over into other areas of my life. It took me years to get here and there is still far to go but for me submission to a Mistress and to women in general now seems the way to go for me. i find such deep content in submitting now to Mistress that it is always a pleasure no matter what She may want. i may spend part of my time in the chains and collar that signify my slavery but inside the chains are there permanently and my slavery has become internalised and a major part of who i am

( See also: chastity, collars, chains, female supremacy, female lead relationships, ownership, sex, training)

T is for Topping from the bottom

T is for topping from the bottom

A top is a dominant and a bottom is the submissive who is controlled by the dominant. So topping from the bottom is the activity where the slave tries to control what the Mistress does. It is an inferior trying to manipulate their superior and it is wrong.

A slave may have ideas of what might be a good idea to use for the next time he is able to be with his Mistress. he might beg for a good flogging or to be put into a particular type of bondage. Mistress and slave might relax talking about options for future sessions or about what went particular well in a previous session and was enjoyed by both.

There is nothing wrong with this and a Mistress will want to know how Her slave felt when specific things were being done to him. She will need to know if there were any problems or ones that might arise. If he might be exposed if he went home after a session bruised ad marked or with painted toe nails She needs to know.
Communication between slave and Mistress is essential to the development of their association and his development as a slave.

But when he is trying to manipulate her to get out of things he finds hard but She wants to do or to do things She does not want to do then it all changes. he is the slave and She should be the one making the decisions. She must be totally free to decide and not be under pressure from her slave. he is abusing Her and this should not be allowed.

A slave who persistently tops from the bottom is not an asset to a Mistress but a nuisance and in some cases this can lead to him being dismissed. In other situations he will need to be reminded if he steps across the line to push his own agenda. If he does it again he will be punished severely.

S is for Stress positions

In the interrogation of suspects stress positions are used to put the subject into a situation where he is stressed and more likely to give information or confess to a crime. In most societies this is not legal for the police or judicial authorities but it ahs certainly been used by the military in war situations and from time to time ahs got well out of hand. It is not quite torture but it is close to it and in some countries the two go hand in hand.

Of course there are problems in that a subject who has been tortured will say anything to get out of the torture so information gained this way is rarely reliable.

Mistresses use stress positions in bondage on their slaves to make things more intense. If the slave is comfortable in bondage and is left he may well just drift off to sleep. But if he is made to stand on tiptoes or kneeling head to the floor or bound so that the can neither lift his head or straighten his legs then this is a stress position and the bondage is more severe. If he is shouted at by Mistress or She spits in his face, or She keeps him in the dark or plays loud music to disorientate him She is increasing the intensity of the experience.

So stress positions can be used to enhance bondage. They include kneeling head to the floor, sitting cross legged with collar attached to ankles, the stocks or rack, making him stand on one leg or on tip toes with the position made more difficult with a rope around the balls that will tighten if he comes off his toes, any position that keeps him bent or stretched or kept so he cannot more will become stressful over time and this is made greater if he is sitting on a backside that has been recently spanked or caned.
Hooding him increases the tension and using heat and cold enhance it further.

( See also: bondage, hoods, chains, predicament bondage, torment and torture)

Chained writings

In medieval times books were often kept on a chain in libraries to prevent them being stolen because they were so valuable.

But now it is the writer who can be kept in chains instead.

On our recent trip Mistress wanted me to do some work on the computer and to complete some writing tasks. So She tied my legs to the front legs of a chair, wrapped more rope around my stomach and attached it to the back of the chair, and finally pulled my head forward and down towards the computer key board with rope between my ankles and the collar i was wearing.

This kept me bending forward over the keyboard and ready to work. Of course it was not that comfortable and sitting bent forward unable to move for hours is difficult but it placed me where She wanted me and unable to do anything else but type. Then She left me in the hotel room and put a do not disturb sign on the door to stop me being interrupted.

Now She has ordered me to fit her desk with a couple of ring bolts so She can truly chain me to a desk to work for Her. Her chained writing slave with no escape until all the tasks are completed.

T is for Topping from the bottom

T is for topping from the bottom

W is for Wax

Wax can be used to remove hair with soft wax in strips to pull off body hair and hard wax to remove all the hair form the private parts. Mistress requires me to have my nipples waxed and a regular Brazilian wax down below but allows me to keep other hair. Other Mistresses require wax removal of all hair regularly and a shaving of the head as well.

Hot wax can also be used to stimulate and torment a slave. First make sure that the wax is not so hot it will burn and choose candles or paraffin wax with a low melting point. Then the wax can be dripped upon all parts of the slave when he is restrained, helpless and blindfolded.

As the wax hits the tip of the penis, the balls or the nipples there is immediate pain followed by a feeling of heat. The wax cools and sets and can either be left in placed or scraped off to allow more to be applied. All you need is a lighted candle or tea light and a prepared slave.

i find it feels really hot and shocks me as the wax hits the skin but then as it solidifies it feels good as the feeling of being boiled recedes until the next drop hits. It feels good and allows Mistress to be creative with wax of different colours and patterns on my body.

But She can also apply large amounts of wax. i can be made to dip my bowl of liquid wax and hold them there until it sets. My cock and balls can be dipped alternating between ice/water and liquid wax. This leads to a build up of wax layer on layer with alternating heat and cold. It is difficult to lie with your parts in a bowl of ice and water or hot wax whilst Mistress counts the seconds until you can get up and plunge in the other material. Over time the layers cover the penis and balls and it turns into a solid block of hard wax. A heavy block which hangs down and swings to and fro as i move.
Of course a slave so encased cannot pass urine and must expect to suffer discomfort from not being able to do so if kept like this for hours.

Wax prepares the slave as Mistress wishes him to look and used carefully allows Her to enjoy Herself tormenting the slave and making things difficult for him as well.

( See also: heating cream, ice, Brazilian wax, CBT, nipples)

S is for Stress positions

Of course there are problems in that a subject who has been tortured will say anything to get out of the torture so information gained this way is rarely reliable.

( See also: bondage, hoods, chains, predicament bondage, torment and torture)

V is for Violet Wand

A violet wand is used to produce a static electrical charge from the AC current from the mains and to charge a hollow glass electrode which can be placed on the skin and discharge itself through a spark. The energy level is extremely low. It is identical to the static charge you can get from rubbing a glass surface with a cloth and which goes to your finger giving a slight shock.

The charge goes to the surface of the skin and does not penetrate deeper but it can activate the nerves in the skin. If mild it gives a buzzing sensation but if the power is higher then it is painful. But it looks spectacular as the spark goes from the glass electrode to the skin with a spark joining the two. There is no risk of the electrocution which can come from AC power from the mains.

So the slave lies there or kneels or stands as Mistress has decided and sparks come form the device to earth themselves on his nipples, his penis, his balls, or any part of his skin. Unlike any other electrical device it is safe to use the violet wand above the waist.

A slave who is to be shocked with a violet wand feels vulnerable as Mistress holds in Her hand the electrode which will shock him.

( See also: electrics, shock collar, zapped)

V is for Vunerable

V is for Vulnerable

When a slave hands himself over voluntarily to his Mistress he makes himself vulnerable. He is placed in bondage form which he cannot escape and Mistress can do with him what She wants.

Although he puts himself at risk he does so in a situation where he has agreed it and has trust that his Mistress will keep him safe. But there are always risks in what Mistress and slave do. He may end up with marks difficult to explain at home if She did not realise that he could not be marked, rope burns if rope is too tight or taken off too quickly or other damage. Good communication to decide what is possible is essential and being slave to a Mistress and attending Her regularly means that communication and trust both are built up so that there is a real relationship between Mistress and slave.

His vulnerability to Mistress is such and arousing thing. He is helpless and She is squeezing his nipples, crushing his balls, shocking him with the electrics and flogging him and there is nothing he can do about it ( except for a safe word). i find that the feeling of vulnerability excites me both with the bondage and all Mistress does to me and this is very arousing indeed. Of course physically I am also constrained by the steel tube of my chastity device so becoming aroused just leads to even more discomfort.

Physical vulnerability is one element but as a slave I open myself up to Mistress and make myself psychologically vulnerable as well. She really does know both me ad all my secrets. So if She was to decide to tell others, put it all on facebook or anything else i would be devastated. But i trust her and She ensures that i do not get carried away getting confused between my roles at work, home and as Her slave. She protects me against myself. In many ways the psychological vulnerability is greater than the physical situation as there are limits to the physical situation ad it can be stopped with the use of a safe word but none to what is happening in my brain.

We all have a past with experiences back even to childhood that were nice and some that were disturbing. Many slaves have hidden such negative memories for years even decades and when they begin to explore the world of submission there are risks. It is so exciting that it is easy to forget everything else in the moment. So many slaves who have hidden their submissive nature but also have other issues. They may have suffered physical, mental or even sexual abuse and locked it all away at the bottom of their mind.

Entering the state of being a slave, even in a short session, can unlock these memories or those horrors so there is a real risk that the distress caused can just spill out all of a sudden. The slave is being watched by Mistress who will not let him be harmed but She may not know what is going on inside.

So She watches closely for distress disproportionate to what is going on . Even if the slave does not use his safe word She is prepared to stop to support and to let him talk about it.

i have found that the support Mistress gives me , her open style of communication and the fact that i can be fully open with her not just on my desire for submission but on all sorts of other things has been a tremendous help with difficult things. She has been to some extent both my Mistress and my psychotherapist, though with an unusual style of psychotherapy approach. This has allowed me to expose my most inmost being, my past, my fears, everything.

This comes at a cost. There is the salve of feeling wrung out both physically and emotionally after a session, often termed a “drop”. Then Mistress supports, chats, provides cups of tea and helps me regain equilibrium. But there is also a cost to Her.

Many Mistresses have had their own issues as well and these may surface in the Mistress mind during the session. By supporting the slave She is making Herself vulnerable not least to her own internal strains. Slaves need to be considerate to mistress’s needs and issues as well as their own. She may be having an “off” day, have pain from a physical or psychological cause and show Her distress in session. If Mistress stops something because She needs to that is all OK. She is in change and Her needs come first. But a slave needs to learn to be considerate of Mistress in all her aspects. He does not need to know why there is a problem unless She chooses to share with him but he need to realise that by taking charge She is making herself vulnerable as well and She must also not come to any harm.

( See also: consent, submission, )

V is for Vibrators

V is for vibrators

There are many devices of all shapes and sizes that vibrate. Some are large and used for loosening stiff muscles by physiotherapists and others for more intimate contact and vibration to lead to pleasure and orgasm.

The slave is controlled by Mistress and may be helpless in bondage. A vibrator can be applied to any part of his body. It may be pleasant and arousing but he has no control over it. He may be hooded or blindfolded so he ahs no idea of what is coming.

A slave subjected to a vibrator on his nipples, penis or balls or thrust deeply inside his anus is the plaything of his Mistress.

She will decide the rhythm and the intensity and a vibrator that is set on a high setting and applied to a tender area will give pain to the slave not pleasure.

So Mistress decides if it is to be pain or pleasure, and also where and when, just like all the other devices She uses to control and torment Her slaves.

For a Mistress who is the partner of her slave the sight of the Mistress pleasuring herself whilst the slave is unable to move, helpless and unable to reach an orgasm himself from his chastity can be very arousing. She has the pleasure and he ahs the discomfort as his penis is constrained and he cannot even touch his Mistress whilst She enjoys Herself. Perfect!

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Memoirs for My Mistress

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